ROY HODGSON: MR NICE BUT WE NEED A MOURINHO

I HAVE been told off by some friends for being too harsh on England boss Roy Hodgson.

One said: 'Why do you have it in for Roy all the time - he's a genuinely good bloke. A nice guy who is bringing a breath of fresh air to the England set-up. Making it more accessible to the press and the public and setting up a really nice atmosphere. Hodgson is someone you should be applauding, not moaning about all the time.'

I replied: 'I don't disagree with you one bit. Roy is a lovely guy and he is doing all the things you say. He has made the camp much more pleasant, no doubt about it.'

'Oh,' the friend said, taken aback. 'So why do you keep having a go at him?'

I replied, slowly but surely: 'Because he's not a winner on the pitch. Tell me anything he has won? Tell me who he has managed to glory in England? Tell me why he is overtly cautious? Tell me why he didn't make a substitute until it was too late in Montenegro last night? Tell me why we are going to struggle to make second place in the group - let alone win it - under his guidance?

'And answer me this: would we have drawn last night with someone who wouldn't be nice and pleasant like Roy - someone who would snarl and ensure the players reflected his determined, dark character - rather than someone who consistently says we shouldn't get over-optimistsic and damps down spirits. Someone who says we are average and should simply accept it - even though he is paid 3 million quid a year to prove we are not average!

'Someone who is a dirty deeds man, but an out and out winner like Jose Mourinho?'

'Are you seriously telling me,' I asked, 'That England wouldn't already have qualified under Jose?'

JOURNEYMAN HODGSON MAY SCRAPE DRAW

I SINCERELY want England to win in Montenegro tonight.

But the problem is this: their two best players happen to be the two strikers, Stevan Jovetic and Mirko Vucinic - while England's two most vulnerable players are Smalling and Lescott, the men who will mark Jovetic and Vucinic.

So it doesn't take a rocket scientist or some clever dick hack from the Street to tell you where the match could be won and lost.

Roy Hodgson can't be blamed for the injury crisis that has left his cupboard so threadbare in central defence, but surely England should be able to field two men who are at least first choices at their respective clubs?

Let's be honest - if Hodgson hadn't messed Rio about last year, he would be playing tonight. All that crap about treatment programmes etc wouldn't have been mentioned. It's Hodgson's poor man management that is the problem here: he is simply not up  to the job of international management.

Hodgson is a journeyman manager employed by an FA board that was frightened of its own shadow - let alone that one cast by Harry Redknapp.

If England get a result tonight - and I reckon they might scrape a lucky draw - it will be because of good fortune, not Hodgson.

MOURINHO: THE PAPERS FINALLY CATCH UP!

I HAVE been saying for months on this blog that Jose Mourinho will be the next Chelsea boss.

Finally, the red tops believe me - as you will see from today's papers, where they all claim the 'exclusive' line on the story!

You want the  news first, stick with Big Frankie!!

ROLLING STONES 'TO PLAY HYDE PARK IN JULY'

MY sources tell me that Jagger, Keef and the boys will play Hyde Park in July - after Glastonbury.

Apparently the Hyde Park date will be revealed next month.

HODGSON LEADS ENGLAND NOWHERE

YOU put a manager who is used to doing well at West Brom and Fulham - but who struggles at Liverpool - in charge of the English national team and expect him to be a success?

As I said at the time of his appointment, Roy Hodgson is a small fish in a big pond with England and is rapidly getting found out.

His bumbling performance of late with Rio Ferdinand highlights this perfectly. He should have been big enough to ring Rio and Fergie and get the situation sussed. Instead he got stage fright and the whole thing backfired with him looking extremely foolish in the public eye.

What it means now is that Rio certainly will not be heading to Rio next summer - his international career is over.

And what are the odds England will also not be there?

I reckon Montenegro could well now go on to win the group by beating us next week and confine us to the play-offs. And at that stage we would need a favourable draw to progress to Rio.

This is what we have ended up with - a second-rate England bossed by a second-rate head coach.

Hodgson is not up to the job and never was. What has he ever won in English football?

BOWIE TO PLAY BERLIN WALL?

I HEAR of an intriguing plan. Bowie has continually said he will not play live again - that he no longer likes the hassle and the travel and the interminable boredom of the road. Also his daughter is at school in Manhattan and he likes to be with her.

But I have heard he might be tempted by a one-off at the site of the Berlin Wall outside Hansa Studios where he made Low and Heroes (of course the title track of the latter's heroic couple were the ones he spotted at the wall from the windows of Hansa).

Sounds ridiculous? Well, not really. After all, his first single in a decade was Where Are We Now? - a wry look back on those times in Berlin. Bowie feels a real nostalgia for the place and a real artistic and emotional draw to it. It was where he and Iggy (Pop) got well after the years of drug abuse.

If it comes off, it would be one of the greatest - and most remarkable and memorable - gigs of all time. On a par with the likes of Live Aid in 85 and Bowie's own tours in 72-73 (Ziggy) and 83 (Serious Moonlight).

Fingers crossed.

FERGIE 'SELLS ROONEY TO BUY BALE'

I HEAR from sources that Man United want Gareth Bale - and that Gareth is interested in a move to Old Trafford.

Fergie plans to sell Rooney for £25MILLION to raise half the money for Bale. He knows that Tottenham supremo Daniel Levy is the hardest of negotiators and that he will not contemplate letting Gareth go for less than £50million.

The final deal - if it comes off - could see United handing over £50Million cash plus a player valued at £10MILLION! Such is the value of Bale now.

Gareth would not be against a move to Manchester. His girlfriend Emma Rhys-Jones and their first baby, little Alba Violet live in Cardiff and a move to Manchester could see them all living there.

The speculation over a move to United would also give a reason for Gareth turning up at Old Trafford for the Real Madrid match the other night. Most people thought he was there to see Ronaldo and Real as they were his most likely next employers - but I am told he was actually there to see his real hero, Ryan Giggs, and see the United set-up for himself.

UTD BUY £18MILLION BENFICA CENTRE-HALF

MY SPIES at Old Trafford tell me that Fergie is starting to come out of his 'distraught' shell as he surveys the wreckage of this season's Champions League campaign.

Apparently he has already made his first move towards a better future - by setting up a deal for Benfica's highly-regarded centre-back Ezequiel Garay...a 26-year-old Argentine.

Ironically, the ball-playing No 5 moved to Benfica 18 months ago from...Real Madrid!!

He will cost Utd in the region of £18million.

HOW FERGIE CONTRIBUTED TO THE DEFEAT

I AGREE that United were at an unfair disadvantage when Nani was sent off.

But I do believe they could have still gone on and won if they hadn't suffered a collective loss of heads.

Remember how Chelsea triumphed in Barca when Terry was dismissed?

Surely Terry was a greater loss than Nani - a peripheral figure on the wing rather than a key man at the heart of the defence?

Yet Chelsea went through and United didn't.

I think Fergie's meltdown on the touchline affected the team. When he needed to keep calm and encourage his men to also stay cool and on course, he turned into the Incredible Hulk. And you're not telling me that show of nerves and anger didn't transmit itself to the team?

No, if Fergie had stayed cool I honestly believe United would have coped better - rather than mirroring their boss and crumbling.

UTD FANS TURN ON 'TRAITOR' ROY KEANE

A FEW years back I did Roy Keane's biography.

It has always struck me that he is a stubborn man, but as a player he was brilliant.

Since leaving Utd and then Celtic, things have not gone as smoothly for old Roy.

He has not really proved himself as a manager and his punditry on the box is certainly not of the level of say Gary Neville.

When Man United are on, Roy seems to have particular problems with anger management.

Basically, he is still pissed off after Fergie got rid of him back in 2007 and cannot hide his resentment at the Utd boss.

That is why he was awkward last night about the Nani sending off. It was clearly a foul but just as clearly a foul without intent. Nani did not even see Arbeloa until they clanged into each other.

But Keane maintained it WAS a sending off.

His view has not gone down well with the Stretford End. The Utd fans I have spoken to today feel he is 'a traitor' and 'will lose a lot of our respect'.

Maybe Keano needs to ask himself why he is so bitter when he is commentating on United - it might help him be fairer in his opinions.

MY PREDICTION UTD v REAL

I AM rooting for a Utd win but I have a bad feeling in my guts that Real will leave Old Trafford with a 3-1 victory.

I think the loss of Phil Jones - who policed Ronaldo so well in the Bernabeu - will prove a major loss.

I hear Fergie is thinking of flooding the midfield with Valencia, Carrick, Anderson, Rooney and Young - with Van Persie alone up front.

If that happens, they will have a chance. The power of Anderson will certainly be needed against Madrid's strong midfield.

If Fergie drops a clanger and starts with Giggs instead of Anderson I fear the worst. Giggs has been a genius but when he and Carrick start together they are simply too slow.

REAL STAY AT THE HOTEL DESIGNED BY MY BRILLIANT COUSIN IAN SIMPSON

I SEE Real are staying at the Hilton while in Manchester.

The hotel was designed and constructed as part of the new Manchester by the brilliant Manchester architecht Ian Simpson.

Being a Mancunian, I am proud that Real are staying there and that it is such a remarkable landmark - and I am especially proud as Ian is my cousin as well as being a genius.

WHY JOSE IS BEING SO NICE IN MANCHESTER

THE pundits have expressed surprise that Mr Mourinho is being so statesmanlike and considered before Real's match with United.

Some have suggested it is because he wants the Utd board to consider him in a different light to his normal Machiavellian combustible self - indeed as someone who might one day even be considered as a grown-up successor to Fergie.

I hear differently. I hear it is because he wants Man City to know he has grown up - and that helps explain why Real have been training at City rather than United.

I stick by my assertion that Mourinho will be the next boss of Chelsea - but City's interest provides an interesting sideshow.